Sunday 14 June 2015

Depression Is a Murderer. RIP Robin Williams -

Depression Is a Murderer. RIP Robin Williams -

Depression Is a Murderer. RIP Robin Williams

Robin Williams attends the "The Crazy Ones" Junket - Los Angeles


Eric Shapiro is heartbroken to learn that the lovable genius lost the fight. 

I feel a certain kinship with the mad.

For good reason, a line exists between the neurotic and the
psychotic. The neurotic are the ones who worry, obsess, get depressed,
and get addicted. The psychotic are the ones who see things that aren’t
there, hear voices barking at them, and often have a low to nonexistent
degree of empathy. Most of us who know madness fall on the neurotic
side. For me, it was O.C.D. I won’t go into what it was like, so just
know I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. And though my brain as of now
is hardly a model of calmness, overcoming my O.C.D. with alternative
medicine was nothing short of the thing that saved my life.

Most of us, I imagine, would rather be neurotic than psychotic — that
is, if we have to suffer mentally at all. After all, the difference
between the two makes for a marked difference in functionality and
credibility. For example, I’d be surprised if my history of neurosis
prevented me from gaining new clients, or allowing others to feel safe
when they’re alone with me.

That said, because neurotic ailments — depression, anxiety, O.C.D.,
addiction — are more commonplace than psychotic ones, more “with the
people”, if you will, their harshness tends to be underestimated. Even
now, in 2014, with nonstop informational tidal waves rolling across our
collective consciousness at every moment, there’s a tendency to downplay
the potential severity of neurosis. Call it basic human optimism:
Perhaps people would just rather not admit that things so bad can be so
common. Or call it basic human ignorance: Perhaps people lack the
patience, interest, or curiosity to educate themselves on matters that
don’t exist quite in plain sight.

‘Cause it’s one thing to hear that someone’s depressed, but another thing entirely to understand what depression feels like…

I for one am thankful to have had limited run-ins with depression.
That said, I’ve danced with its ugliness on many an occasion. So in case
there’s still anyone who hasn’t found out:

Depression isn’t just the blues. Depression isn’t a gloomy attitude.
Depression isn’t pessimism. Depression isn’t a tendency to view life
darkly. Depression isn’t gentle. Depression isn’t shallow. Depression
isn’t subtle. Depression isn’t off to the side. Depression doesn’t speak
in hushed tones. Depression isn’t Debbie Downer. Depression isn’t
sleeping late. Depression isn’t keeping the shades drawn. Depression
isn’t something we’ve all gone through. And depression doesn’t always
respond to medication.

Unfortunately, in reality, depression sucks. Depression’s a monster.
Depression’s relentless. Depression’s cruel. Depression has no sense of
humor. Depression’s a maze minus an exit door. Depression’s a holocaust
in subzero temperatures. Depression’s your mind’s biology asserting its
massive imperfections in ear-shattering screams. And depression can shriek. Depression
doesn’t take a moment’s rest. Depression floods your blood with poison.
Depression exposes the thorns in each instant. Depression’s a
fingernail-climb up an ice-carved wall. Depression wants only the worst
for you. Depression fights back when you dare fight against it.

And depression doesn’t care if you’re famous. Depression doesn’t care
how much money you make. Depression couldn’t give two shits about your
gifts or your talents.

For depression, as witness the death of Robin Williams, is a murderer.

Sucks, right? And the last thing we need to do is punish the afflicted. Instead, upon learning that someone’s depressed:

Acknowledge that depression’s a serious thing. Acknowledge that
depression’s a soul-cracking trial. Acknowledge that depression’s a
reason to skip work, or meetings, or family luncheons. Acknowledge that
depression’s a community emergency. And acknowledge that any form of
help for depression is worthwhile, while acknowledging that although
depression cannot yet be cured — it can be, regularly is, and often has
been overcome. 

The facts of his case will assert that Robin Williams killed himself.
But those who know depression know where best to point the finger. I’m
so heartbroken to learn that lovable genius lost the fight. Now it’s up
to all the rest of us to go and win it.
- See more at: http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/depression-is-a-murderer-rip-robin-williams-gmp/#sthash.cT2bseNy.dpuf

Depression Is a Murderer. RIP Robin Williams

Robin Williams attends the "The Crazy Ones" Junket - Los Angeles


Eric Shapiro is heartbroken to learn that the lovable genius lost the fight. 

I feel a certain kinship with the mad.

For good reason, a line exists between the neurotic and the
psychotic. The neurotic are the ones who worry, obsess, get depressed,
and get addicted. The psychotic are the ones who see things that aren’t
there, hear voices barking at them, and often have a low to nonexistent
degree of empathy. Most of us who know madness fall on the neurotic
side. For me, it was O.C.D. I won’t go into what it was like, so just
know I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. And though my brain as of now
is hardly a model of calmness, overcoming my O.C.D. with alternative
medicine was nothing short of the thing that saved my life.

Most of us, I imagine, would rather be neurotic than psychotic — that
is, if we have to suffer mentally at all. After all, the difference
between the two makes for a marked difference in functionality and
credibility. For example, I’d be surprised if my history of neurosis
prevented me from gaining new clients, or allowing others to feel safe
when they’re alone with me.

That said, because neurotic ailments — depression, anxiety, O.C.D.,
addiction — are more commonplace than psychotic ones, more “with the
people”, if you will, their harshness tends to be underestimated. Even
now, in 2014, with nonstop informational tidal waves rolling across our
collective consciousness at every moment, there’s a tendency to downplay
the potential severity of neurosis. Call it basic human optimism:
Perhaps people would just rather not admit that things so bad can be so
common. Or call it basic human ignorance: Perhaps people lack the
patience, interest, or curiosity to educate themselves on matters that
don’t exist quite in plain sight.

‘Cause it’s one thing to hear that someone’s depressed, but another thing entirely to understand what depression feels like…

I for one am thankful to have had limited run-ins with depression.
That said, I’ve danced with its ugliness on many an occasion. So in case
there’s still anyone who hasn’t found out:

Depression isn’t just the blues. Depression isn’t a gloomy attitude.
Depression isn’t pessimism. Depression isn’t a tendency to view life
darkly. Depression isn’t gentle. Depression isn’t shallow. Depression
isn’t subtle. Depression isn’t off to the side. Depression doesn’t speak
in hushed tones. Depression isn’t Debbie Downer. Depression isn’t
sleeping late. Depression isn’t keeping the shades drawn. Depression
isn’t something we’ve all gone through. And depression doesn’t always
respond to medication.

Unfortunately, in reality, depression sucks. Depression’s a monster.
Depression’s relentless. Depression’s cruel. Depression has no sense of
humor. Depression’s a maze minus an exit door. Depression’s a holocaust
in subzero temperatures. Depression’s your mind’s biology asserting its
massive imperfections in ear-shattering screams. And depression can shriek. Depression
doesn’t take a moment’s rest. Depression floods your blood with poison.
Depression exposes the thorns in each instant. Depression’s a
fingernail-climb up an ice-carved wall. Depression wants only the worst
for you. Depression fights back when you dare fight against it.

And depression doesn’t care if you’re famous. Depression doesn’t care
how much money you make. Depression couldn’t give two shits about your
gifts or your talents.

For depression, as witness the death of Robin Williams, is a murderer.

Sucks, right? And the last thing we need to do is punish the afflicted. Instead, upon learning that someone’s depressed:

Acknowledge that depression’s a serious thing. Acknowledge that
depression’s a soul-cracking trial. Acknowledge that depression’s a
reason to skip work, or meetings, or family luncheons. Acknowledge that
depression’s a community emergency. And acknowledge that any form of
help for depression is worthwhile, while acknowledging that although
depression cannot yet be cured — it can be, regularly is, and often has
been overcome. 

The facts of his case will assert that Robin Williams killed himself.
But those who know depression know where best to point the finger. I’m
so heartbroken to learn that lovable genius lost the fight. Now it’s up
to all the rest of us to go and win it.
- See more at: http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/depression-is-a-murderer-rip-robin-williams-gmp/#sthash.cT2bseNy.dpuf
August 11, 2014 by Eric Shapiro 18 Comments

Eric Shapiro is heartbroken to learn that the lovable genius lost the fight.

I feel a certain kinship with the mad.

For good reason, a line exists between the neurotic and the psychotic. The neurotic are the ones who worry, obsess, get depressed, and get addicted. The psychotic are the ones who see things that aren’t there, hear voices barking at them, and often have a low to nonexistent degree of empathy. Most of us who know madness fall on the neurotic side. For me, it was O.C.D. I won’t go into what it was like, so just know I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. And though my brain as of now is hardly a model of calmness, overcoming my O.C.D. with alternative medicine was nothing short of the thing that saved my life.

Most of us, I imagine, would rather be neurotic than psychotic — that is, if we have to suffer mentally at all. After all, the difference between the two makes for a marked difference in functionality and credibility. For example, I’d be surprised if my history of neurosis prevented me from gaining new clients, or allowing others to feel safe when they’re alone with me.

That said, because neurotic ailments — depression, anxiety, O.C.D., addiction — are more commonplace than psychotic ones, more “with the people”, if you will, their harshness tends to be underestimated. Even now, in 2014, with nonstop informational tidal waves rolling across our collective consciousness at every moment, there’s a tendency to downplay the potential severity of neurosis. Call it basic human optimism: Perhaps people would just rather not admit that things so bad can be so common. Or call it basic human ignorance: Perhaps people lack the patience, interest, or curiosity to educate themselves on matters that don’t exist quite in plain sight.

‘Cause it’s one thing to hear that someone’s depressed, but another thing entirely to understand what depression feels like…

I for one am thankful to have had limited run-ins with depression. That said, I’ve danced with its ugliness on many an occasion. So in case there’s still anyone who hasn’t found out:

Depression isn’t just the blues. Depression isn’t a gloomy attitude. Depression isn’t pessimism. Depression isn’t a tendency to view life darkly. Depression isn’t gentle. Depression isn’t shallow. Depression isn’t subtle. Depression isn’t off to the side. Depression doesn’t speak in hushed tones. Depression isn’t Debbie Downer. Depression isn’t sleeping late. Depression isn’t keeping the shades drawn. Depression isn’t something we’ve all gone through. And depression doesn’t always respond to medication.

Unfortunately, in reality, depression sucks. Depression’s a monster. Depression’s relentless. Depression’s cruel. Depression has no sense of humor. Depression’s a maze minus an exit door. Depression’s a holocaust in subzero temperatures. Depression’s your mind’s biology asserting its massive imperfections in ear-shattering screams. And depression can shriek. Depression doesn’t take a moment’s rest. Depression floods your blood with poison. Depression exposes the thorns in each instant. Depression’s a fingernail-climb up an ice-carved wall. Depression wants only the worst for you. Depression fights back when you dare fight against it.

And depression doesn’t care if you’re famous. Depression doesn’t care how much money you make. Depression couldn’t give two shits about your gifts or your talents.

For depression, as witness the death of Robin Williams, is a murderer.

Sucks, right? And the last thing we need to do is punish the afflicted. Instead, upon learning that someone’s depressed:

Acknowledge that depression’s a serious thing. Acknowledge that depression’s a soul-cracking trial. Acknowledge that depression’s a reason to skip work, or meetings, or family luncheons. Acknowledge that depression’s a community emergency. And acknowledge that any form of help for depression is worthwhile, while acknowledging that although depression cannot yet be cured — it can be, regularly is, and often has been overcome.

The facts of his case will assert that Robin Williams killed himself. But those who know depression know where best to point the finger. I’m so heartbroken to learn that lovable genius lost the fight. Now it’s up to all the rest of us to go and win it.

- See more at: http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/depression-is-a-murderer-rip-robin-williams-gmp/#sthash.cT2bseNy.dpuf

Friday 12 June 2015

The Science Of Why You Should Spend Your Money On Experiences, Not Things | Co.Exist | ideas + impact

The Science Of Why You Should Spend Your Money On Experiences, Not Things | Co.Exist | ideas + impact

You don't have infinite money. Spend it on stuff that research says makes you happy.

Most people are in the pursuit of happiness. There are
economists who think happiness is the best indicator of the health of a
society. We know that money can make you happier, though after your
basic needs are met, it doesn't make you that much happier. But one of
the biggest questions is how to allocate our money, which is (for most
of us) a limited resource.

There's a very logical assumption that most people make when spending
their money: that because a physical object will last longer, it will
make us happier for a longer time than a one-off experience like a
concert or vacation. According to recent research, it turns out that
assumption is completely wrong.

"One of the enemies of happiness is adaptation," says Dr. Thomas Gilovich,
a psychology professor at Cornell University who has been studying the
question of money and happiness for over two decades. "We buy things to
make us happy, and we succeed. But only for a while. New things are
exciting to us at first, but then we adapt to them."








German skydiver via Shutterstock



So rather than buying the latest iPhone or a new BMW, Gilovich
suggests you'll get more happiness spending money on experiences like
going to art exhibits, doing outdoor activities, learning a new skill,
or traveling.

Gilovich's findings are the synthesis of psychological studies conducted by him and others into the Easterlin paradox,
which found that money buys happiness, but only up to a point. How
adaptation affects happiness, for instance, was measured in a study that
asked people to self-report their happiness with major material and
experiential purchases. Initially, their happiness with those purchases
was ranked about the same. But over time, people's satisfaction with the
things they bought went down, whereas their satisfaction with
experiences they spent money on went up.

It's counterintuitive that something like a physical object that you
can keep for a long time doesn't keep you as happy as long as a
once-and-done experience does. Ironically, the fact that a material
thing is ever present works against it, making it easier to adapt to. It
fades into the background and becomes part of the new normal. But while
the happiness from material purchases diminishes over time, experiences
become an ingrained part of our identity.

"Our experiences are a bigger part of ourselves than our material
goods," says Gilovich. "You can really like your material stuff. You can
even think that part of your identity is connected to those things, but
nonetheless they remain separate from you. In contrast, your
experiences really are part of you. We are the sum total of our
experiences."

One study conducted by Gilovich even showed that if people have an
experience they say negatively impacted their happiness, once they have
the chance to talk about it, their assessment of that experience goes
up. Gilovich attributes this to the fact that something that might have
been stressful or scary in the past can become a funny story to tell at a
party or be looked back on as an invaluable character-building
experience.

Another reason is that shared experiences connect us more to other
people than shared consumption. You're much more likely to feel
connected to someone you took a vacation with in Bogotá than someone who
also happens to have bought a 4K TV.








Greg Brave via Shutterstock



"We consume experiences directly with other people," says Gilovich.
"And after they're gone, they're part of the stories that we tell to one
another."

And even if someone wasn't with you when you had a particular
experience, you're much more likely to bond over both having hiked the
Appalachian Trail or seeing the same show than you are over both owning
Fitbits.

You're also much less prone to negatively compare your own
experiences to someone else's than you would with material purchases.
One study conducted by researchers Ryan Howell and Graham Hill found
that it's easier to feature-compare material goods (how many carats is
your ring? how fast is your laptop's CPU?) than experiences. And since
it's easier to compare, people do so.

"The tendency of keeping up with the Joneses tends to be more
pronounced for material goods than for experiential purchases," says
Gilovich. "It certainly bothers us if we're on a vacation and see people
staying in a better hotel or flying first class. But it doesn't produce
as much envy as when we're outgunned on material goods."

Gilovich's research has implications for individuals who want to
maximize their happiness return on their financial investments, for
employers who want to have a happier workforce, and policy-makers who
want to have a happy citizenry.

"By shifting the investments that societies make and the policies
they pursue, they can steer large populations to the kinds of
experiential pursuits that promote greater happiness," write Gilovich
and his coauthor, Amit Kumar, in their recent article in the academic
journal Experimental Social Psychology.

If society takes their research to heart, it should mean not only a
shift in how individuals spend their discretionary income, but also
place an emphasis on employers giving paid vacation and governments
taking care of recreational spaces.

"As a society, shouldn't we be making experiences easier for people to have?" asks Gilovich.