Monday, 17 March 2014

Love is Strange - by Mike Lee Pearl February 14, 2014

article linked here - Motherboard

If you're one of those depressed single people posting "Fuck Valentine's Day" statuses on Facebook, I've got great news for you: According to science, love doesn't exist, so there's nothing to get worked up about.

At the end of my aforementioned hypothetical debate, Bill Nye would force Zach and Oprah to agree to something like the conclusion Judith Butler came to. Love is just a behavior acted out by choice, because of forces within society. It means something to us not because it's a tangible thing that exists but because we've agreed to pretend it exists, like money, or Christmas.

Thursday, 13 March 2014

Are You a Sociopath? | Devil in the Data | Big Think

Are You a Sociopath? | Devil in the Data | Big Think

January 5, 2014, 12:00 AM

Shutterstock_97657040_sociopath

In her memoir, Confessions of a Sociopath (Crown, 2013),
a lawyer writing under the pen name M. E. Thomas states flat-out: "I am
a sociopath," explaining "I am strategic and canny, I am intelligent
and confident and charming, but I also struggle to react appropriately
to other people's confusing and emotion-driven social cues." In a May 7,
2013 Psychology Today article,
M. E. Thomas parses the "struggle to react appropriately" clause a bit
less ambiguously: "Remorse is alien to me. I have a penchant for
deceit."

Note: In real life, "M. E. Thomas" is apparently Jamie Lund, the listed owner of the domain name SociopathWorld.com (and the selfsame Jamie Rebecca Lund who until recently taught law at St. Mary's University School of Law in San Antonio, Texas).

In her 300-page memoir, Thomas (Lund) takes on the formidable task of
trying to demystify one of psychology's murkiest backwaters, the
combination of traits subsumed under the general heading of sociopathy:
traits that may or may not (depending on whose definition you want to
go by) include superficial charm, narcissistic tendencies, lack of
empathy (and corresponding inability to feel remorse), difficulty in
forming long-lasting romantic relationships, and/or indifference to
social norms (especially around morals and ethics).

Unfortunately, there is no consensus view of what constitutes sociopathy. (Don't be quick to point to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual's section on Antisocial Personality Disorder.
It hardly represents a "consensus view" among clinicians, let alone
research psychologists, sociologists, and the many others who study this
area.) Until recently, in fact, psychologists tended to conflate
sociopathy and psychopathy, since the personality traits for both
conditions have significant overlap (e.g., poverty of affect, difficulty
forming long-lasting relationships); likewise, there is still healthy
debate on the extent to which antisocial behavior—rather than
personality traits per se—should be considered in formulating a definition of sociopathy.

The World Health Organization's International Statistical Classification of Diseases and Related Health Problems, tenth edition (ICD-10), defines something called dissocial personality disorder, characterized by the presence of three or more of the following:


  1. Callous unconcern for the feelings of others;
  2. Gross and persistent attitude of irresponsibility and disregard for social norms, rules, and obligations;
  3. Incapacity to maintain enduring relationships, though having no difficulty in establishing them;
  4. Very low tolerance to frustration and a low threshold for discharge of aggression, including violence;
  5. Incapacity to experience guilt or to profit from experience, particularly punishment;
  6. Marked readiness to blame others or to offer plausible
    rationalizations for the behavior that has brought the person into
    conflict with society.



M. E. Thomas, not unexpectedly, puts her own spin on things, emphasizing plasticity of personality—and bisexuality (or
at least, a certain fluidity of gender and sexual preferences)—as two
of the more reliable (in her experience) signatures of sociopathy.
Thomas (Lund) cites Cal State University (Northridge) professor Howard
Kamler, who argues:


It is not just that [the sociopath] is lacking a strongly identified
moral identity, he is likely lacking a strongly identified self-identity
almost altogether.


Thomas (Lund) describes at length what it is like to be self-aware
without a self-construct, constantly inferring one's self-essence
indirectly (through the reactions of others), somewhat like detecting
dark matter in galaxies by their effect on nearby stars. "I make people
scared when I stare at them this way," she might note, in a social
setting. Ironically, Thomas talks of having learned a great deal about
human social interactions by watching TV serials and movies (which are,
of course, fictional, involving actors). She also refers, repeatedly, to
the Cathy character in Steinbeck's East of Eden as a reliable
model of sociopathic behavior—again failing to acknowledge the fictional
nature of the data source. This seeming indifference to fictional vs.
real-world social data is (arguably), in itself, quite telling.



One of Thomas's main points is that sociopaths are often wrongly
villainized. Not all sociopaths are criminals (most crimes are, in fact,
committed by empaths who go off the rails). More than that, Thomas
argues (persuasively) that many characteristics of the sociopathic
personality—charm, ambition and impatience, an ability to attack
problems with cold-hearted logic (not letting emotions get in the
way)—are useful to society. We see the proof every day: The most
successful lawyers, doctors, actors, politicians, statesmen, military
leaders, and corporate executives frequently do exhibit many of the
signature characteristics of sociopaths (if not also psychopaths).


Indeed, capitalism is set up to reward those who have no qualms about
profiting off the labors of others. (No less a champion of capitalism
than Forbes Magazine has noted the "Disturbing Link Between Psychopathy and Capitalism.")
Likewise, in politics, those who go far tend to be smooth-talking
manipulators who carefully calibrate their moral code to the
requirements of the moment. This not new, of course. Machiavelli wrote extensively about it in the 1500s.




Nevertheless, Thomas (Professor Lund) will win few fans with her
discussion, in Chapter 7, of Emotions and the Fine Art of Ruining
People. "Ruining people. I love the way the phrase rolls around
on my tongue and inside my mouth. Ruining people is delicious." Power,
Lund says, is all she has ever really cared about in her life:


". . . physical power, the power of being desired or admired,
destructive power, knowledge, invisible influence . . . The acquisition,
retention, and exploitation of power are what most motivate sociopaths.
This much I know."


Thomas goes on to describe various relationships (hers and others)
she has ruined, people she has duped emotionally, coworkers whose
professional efforts she has tried to derail, teachers she has brought
complaints against. All harmless chicanery? Read the book and judge for
yourself.



One point I do agree with. It's not the personality traits you've
acquired (through birth or upbringing) that define you; it's what you
choose to do with them. Thomas (Professor Lund) tries, many
times, in many ways, to acquit herself of her sociopathic tendencies and
paint herself as a sympathetic character, but her actions speak for
themselves, and I suspect that if she continues to have trouble holding a
job or holding onto a longterm relationship (troubles she admits to
having, over and over again in the book), it will not be because of any label anyone
applied to her. It will be, quite simply, because of the things she has
done; her own (confessed) behavior. As Pierre-Joseph Proudhoun once
said, "When deeds speak, words are nothing"—something every sociopath
would do well to keep in mind.





More from the Big Idea for Sunday, January 05 2014



Sociopathy



There is no consensus view of what constitutes sociopathy. Until
recently, in fact, psychologists tended to conflate sociopathy and
psychopathy, since the personality traits for both conditions ha...
Read More…



OCD prevents Heather Bayliss from meeting Mr Right | News.com.au

OCD prevents Heather Bayliss from meeting Mr Right | News.com.au

Heather Bayliss would love to find her Mr Right, but OCD is stopping her.
Heather Bayliss would love to find her Mr Right, but OCD is stopping her.
Source: Picture Media



MEET the hopeless romantic who is terrified of love. 


Heather Bayliss would like nothing more than to find her Mr Right,
but her crippling obsessive compulsive disorder makes it impossible for
her to fall in love.



The 39-year-old dreams of the day she can get her debilitating condition under control and settle down with her ideal partner.



But
dating poses a horrifying number of issues for Heather, who hasn’t
invited anyone into her flat for more than three years and only leaves
home to shop or visit her mum.



She finds it extremely stressful to
meet new people and to spend time in public places, and her aversion to
eye contact means any first date could be disastrous.



She hasn’t invited anyone to her home for three years.
She hasn’t invited anyone to her home for three years.
Source: Picture Media
Heather said: “Any relationship I did have would have to be
completely non-contact — an old-fashioned Jane Austen-style courtship.



“My
main worry is contamination from other people so there couldn’t be any
physical interaction — no hugs, kisses, hand holding — I would need to
trust someone before anything like that could happen.

“If I could
meet the right person I would be so happy, but there are just so many
extra obstacles that stand in my way because of my OCD and Asperger's.



“My
fear of germs makes it hard for me to go out for food in public too,
even something as simple as sitting on a seat in public scares me.



“And
I find social interactions very difficult, especially with people I
don’t know or have never met before — it’s all very stressful for me.
Dating just throws all of these problems at me in one go.”



It’s a lonely life for Heather who struggles to even go out in public.
It’s a lonely life for Heather who struggles to even go out in public.
Source: Picture Media
Heather — who was also diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome two
years ago — believes that it has been subconsciously affecting her
relationships her entire life.



Asperger’s is a form of autism which affects how people interact socially and communicate with others.



“I
think I can live with the Asperger’s, that’s part of who I am. But I
can’t live with the OCD being as bad as it is now — it’s pretty much as
bad as it gets,” Heather said.



“People think OCD is all about
cleaning, but it’s not. For me, it’s all about fear and fear completely
controls my life and I need to do something to make life a bit more
liveable.



“It’s like a snowball, it slowly gathers speed and over
the years things have slowly got worse and worse. And the older I’ve
got, the more I have found to worry about.”



Heather has struggling using internet dating due to her trying to be honest about her con
Heather has struggling using internet dating due to her trying to be honest about her condition.
Source: Picture Media
 
Heather’s extreme OCD has left her terrified of even the most
simple interactions leaving her confined to her flat for the majority of
the time.



The extremity of her condition has got significantly
worse over the past five years and Heather turned to internet dating
with the hope of meeting someone to share her life with.



Reluctant
to give up her search for ‘the one’, Heather said: “I have used
internet dating sites in the hope of meeting someone special but it is
so hard to know when to be honest with people.

“I have been open and honest on my profile straight away, and had absolutely no messages from anyone.



“And
I have hidden my mental health issues from people and we’ve started
talking, but as soon as I have been honest they have dropped off the
radar and I never hear from them again.”